woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
