I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We're too hungover to prance.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
