Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
