is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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