when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
