so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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