Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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