he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
