Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
