bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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