I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
