he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
