I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
