I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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