ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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