i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
