All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
