hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's shark week go big or go home
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
