he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
