I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize