She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
