Plan B is the new Plan A
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
