I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize