I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
