threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i think my cat just said my name.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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