oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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