Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
