Sry I called you an 8
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
