Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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