I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
