no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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