Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
