I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
