My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
