Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's blow job season.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I have feelings that need drinking.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize
