my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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