But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
