Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
