come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
