I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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