Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
sarcasm needs its own font
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
