dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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