Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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