She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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