I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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