I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
