somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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