Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My life is pants optional.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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