Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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