I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize