why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
im drinking this country out of the recession.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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