you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
