You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
