...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
