he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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