It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
either way he was missing a nipple.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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