I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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