you have to choose: penises or morals?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
