VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
You pole danced in your parka.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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