every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
