Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize