I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
