ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
